We use technology every day to text friends, share photos and videos, and find information about school, health, and what’s happening in our communities. Sometimes, technology can also be used to hurt people. You may know someone, or even be someone, who has been harmed by a current or former dating partner through texts, social media, or the sharing of nude or semi-nude images without permission. This is called tech abuse, or technology-facilitated gender-based violence (TFGBV).
Tech abuse happens when someone tries to control, scare, or pressure their current or former partner. This can happen in person, online, or both. It can happen once or many times, and it can happen to anyone. Tech abuse can happen alongside other forms of abuse such as physical, sexual, financial, or emotional abuse. It is never your fault, and it is not okay.
Tech abuse can look like:
- Telling you who you can follow or talk to online
- Sending mean or threatening texts or DMs
- Texting so much you feel stressed or afraid to put your phone down
- Demanding passwords or checking your phone
- Tracking your location with apps (like Snap Maps or Find My)
- Posting things to embarrass you
- Pressuring you to send nude or semi-nude images
- Sharing private images without consent
A relationship can be unhealthy even if there is no physical violence. You deserve to be safe and respected in every relationship, in person and online. If your current or former partner is using technology to control, pressure, or harass you, that’s not okay, and it could be against the law.
The resources in this toolkit are intended to help teens and the adults who support them recognize the signs of tech-facilitated violence, understand its impact, and learn about ways to stay safe and get help. Some resources are shared from other organizations to provide you with the most current information possible. The sections below describe the most common forms of tech abuse teens experience and include additional resources to help you learn more and protect yourself. No matter what you’re experiencing in your relationships, we want you to continue using technology as safely as possible.
WARNING: Some of the links below will open PDFs, take you to other places on our website, or take you to other websites. These actions will be reflected in your browser history and download folder. If your device is being monitored, consider using a safer device (e.g. a friend’s phone or a library computer) or deleting them from your downloads or history.
How to Stay Safe Online
Reaching Out for Help
This section provides helpful information for teens about the most common forms of digital dating violence, including harassment, threats, location tracking, texting and sexting, distribution of nude or semi-nude photos, and online luring and sexual exploitation. It also provides resources that can help.
You can seek support directly through:
- Kid Help Phone’s crisis line, available 24/7 by call or text
- ShelterSafe.ca, which connects you with your local domestic violence shelter and its crisis line. You can phone them for advice, counselling, and safety planning.
Texting, Sexting, and the Distribution of Nude or Semi-Nude Photos
In Canada, it is illegal (i.e. a criminal offence) for a person to knowingly post or send a nude or sexual photo of you without your consent. This is also called the non-consensual distribution of intimate images, or NCDII for short. If someone is threatening to share your intimate image to force you to do something, this is called extortion. It is a criminal offence even if they do not actually post or share the intimate image.
Some examples include:
- Your partner takes a screenshot of a nude you sent them on Snapchat and sends it to other people
- A former partner threatens to post sexual photos or videos of you on Facebook or another popular social media website if you don’t start seeing them again
- Someone you met online posts intimate photos or videos of you on a pornographic website
For more information and tips on how to protect yourself or remove an intimate image that has already been shared:
Harassment and Impersonation
Harassment is unwelcome or unwanted behaviour from another person that makes you feel scared, threatened, or humiliated. It can take place anywhere: in person, over texts or direct messages, on social media, on gaming apps, etc.
If your current or former partner:
- Sends you constant text messages or direct messages
- Sends you threatening messages
- Makes harmful or embarrassing posts about you online
This could be harassment, and it is not okay.
For more information and tips on how to protect yourself:
Threats
A threat is when someone says they will do something to harm you, themselves, a pet, or someone else. It can be explicit or implied. It includes threats to do physical, emotional, or sexual harm. A threat can be made through speech, text, or gestures.
If your partner sends you messages like:
- “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll tell your parents.”
- “If you leave me, I’ll post those pictures.”
- “If you break up with me, I’ll kill myself.”
These are threats. They are about power and control, not love or care. You never deserve to be threatened online or offline. It’s not your fault if this is happening.
For more information and tips on how to protect yourself:
Location Tracking
Location sharing can be helpful: it can help you find a lost phone, meet up with friends, or feel safer. But location sharing becomes a problem when your current or former partner:
- Pressures you to turn it on
- Gets angry when you turn it off
- Uses it to control where you go or who you see
- Shows up places without being invited
- Makes you feel scared, watched, or trapped
If a current or former partner is using location sharing to control you, that’s tech abuse. It’s not about safety; it’s about power and control.
For more information and tips on how to protect yourself:
Information for Caregivers and Support Workers
Being a parent or caregiver of a teen experiencing abuse in a dating relationship can be difficult and frightening. When technology is used to control, monitor, threaten, or harass your teen, it can add another layer of fear and frustration, especially if you are unfamiliar with the technology involved. This section provides information and practical guidance to help caregivers support teens experiencing digital dating violence.
Technology is an important part of many teens’ lives. It helps them stay connected with friends, school, supportive communities, and services, and can provide belonging, encouragement, and acceptance. During times of crisis or isolation, these connections can matter even more. Because of this, taking away a teen’s technology to try to keep them safe can increase their isolation or make them feel they need to hide what is happening from you. Instead of removing access to technology, supporting a teen experiencing tech abuse means finding ways to increase their safety while preserving access to technology and connections that support their well-being.
Information for Caregivers and Support Workers
The information provided here is designed to help you better understand the legal context of teen tech abuse. This resource provides general legal information; legal advice or representation must come from a lawyer who can advise you on your specific situation.
